Have you ever noticed how birds generally fly together? There is strength in flying together. At every stage of my life thus far I have felt wholly unprepared and I have learned to “wing it”, telling myself that I can figure it out as I go. I have learned that it is easier to figure things out if I huddle up with friends, family, and even strangers who just happen to cross my path who are also trying to figure out this thing called life.
I love to write. I lose my journals. I lose everything. I also recently realized that my Facebook posts were getting waaaaay too long. So, I decided to start a blog and write about how I wing it. Maybe you can help me figure things out, maybe I can help you figure some things out. We can flock together and figure it out as we go along or at least realize we are not alone.
Let’s see where it goes….what you will find here is a melange of musings which tend to fall in the following categories:
Things I am learning as….
- an imperfect human being
- a woman
- a counselor
- the mother of two school-age boys (one who has moderate autism and one who has mild Tourette’s) who teach me a lesson and bring me down a notch or two on a daily basis
- a non-profit domestic violence shelter worker working with women and children in crisis
- an adjunct professor (I teach online college classes in my PJs after the kids are asleep)
- a daughter who was raised by working-class parents who taught me about strength, devotion and hard-work by example
- the first person in my family to gradute college
- a big sister to my little sister who is more amazing than I realized when we were growing up bickering and I was trying to be a “cool” teen and ignored her. I regret not being a better big sister.
- a Southern white girl who detests it when people assume they can say racist, homophobic, “poor people are lazy” etc. stuff around me and expect me not to get offended and pop off about it
- a wife who tied the knot with my “baby daddy” 9 years and quite a few separations after we had our first child. We are very passionate people…it works…we’re still fighting to stay in love…but we frequently disagree (which just means lots of “making up” hehe)
- a former teen mom who didn’t follow the “get a college degree, get married, buy a house, then have kids at 35” life plan but still “succeeded”and got all of these in a different order
- a person who continually questions the definition of success
- a woman who has struggled with and is in recovery from an eating disorder and an addiction to bad love/sex
- a woman whose fiercest battles are mostly in my own mind
- a yoga lover (it keeps my crazy tuned down)
- someone who knows how much grief physically and emotionally hurts
- someone who likes to read and think about spiritual stuff. An admirer of many traditions, philosophies, and religious teachings. A follower of Jesus. He came through for me when I was at rock bottom and dared him to. Its easy to have faith when you have as much proof as I do. *Don’t confuse that with being a follower of His followers cause we are just as jacked up as everyone else, heathen or not, m’kay? I just need Him, His words (conveniently in red ink in the Bible my Grandma gave me when I was a teenager and refused to read it). I need the peace, grace and mercy in those words that come to life as I reflect on my life and how to press on. Now, the church lady going off about gay people and trying to make me feel bad for _______ (fill in the blank with any number of things I do that offend church ladies). Nah not so much…she be sinning too…but I have to believe there’s a place for both of us in this world and at church.
- a lover of misfits and underdogs
- a misfit and and underdog
- a messy…no…creative person who will never give you cleaning or organization advice
- lover of the work of Brene Brown, Ph.D. and Glennon Doyle Melton
- girl who always sat in the back row of class and still sits in the back row at church
- a mama who is into holistic and crunchy stuff like midwives, birthing my babies at home (yep, I did that…twice), breastfeeding, natural remedies such as herbs, homeopathics, nutrition, holding motherhood as sacred and empowering, advocating for a world in which women don’t have to feel like abortion is their best or only choice, family-friendly workplaces and all that goodness. But don’t worry, I won’t sanctimommy you! (I don’t like her either).
- mama, Jen, honeypie, Mrs. Jen, Professor, Ma’am….the many titles I hear daily